The Girl in the Red Shoes

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Uncategorized | June 29, 2016

Things I never thought I’d say….

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Things I never thought I’d say…but now say ALL THE TIME now that I’m a mom. Heads up…there’s a lot of potty and booty talk that happens in our house…..

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“Please do not kiss my booty. Do not kiss your sister’s booty. Do not kiss ANYONE’S BOOTY.”
“Did you toot?”
“Please do not toot in my face.”

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“…Son of a Digger, Monster Mutt, Thrasher, Black Stallion, Storm Damage, Mohawk Warrior….” (me, listing off all of the names of the monster’ trucks)

“You are right. We don’t eat poop.”

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“Do not sit on your sister.”
“Please do not bang on your brother like a drum.”

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“Sit on your booty and keep your hands and feet and mouth to yourself.”

“Remember, your hands stay out of your pants.”
“We do not eat boogers.”
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“We do not kiss people’s eyeballs.”
“When I ask you a question, please answer!”
“Your friend ___________ (sleeps in his own bed, eats all his dinner, sleeps all night…)” basically fill in the blank with anything I want Hudson to do. 

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“Nice boys and girls share their cookies with their mama.”

“I can’t give the cookie back to you, it’s already in my mouth.”

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“Friends do not bite friends.”
“Please do not color on mommy’s legs.”

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And my favorite…..”Bend over so I can wipe your booty.”

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Isn’t it crazy the things you say when you are a mom?
In our house, we don’t just wipe…we wipe in style. Somethings Hudson needs a little extra help cleaning up himself, if you know what I mean. And ever since we potty trained him, we’ve stashed these amazing Cottonelle Fresh Care Flushable Cleansing Cloths, and experience a more confident clean. The cloths break down immediately after flushing, which is great because that means they are safe to use with a septic system, which is what we have in our new house! They are also gentle and alcohol-free, so they are great for the entire family. 
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AND Sam’s Club members will instantly save $3.00 at check out from June 22nd to July 17th on Cottonelle Fresh Care Flushable Cleansing Cloths! Yay! We love shopping at Sam’s Club for the great deals and instant savings! Joining is easy…..just visit Sam’s Club for all the details.


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Comments

  1. Molly says

    June 29, 2016 at 5:46 pm

    Kiss the eyeballs . . . love it, lol!

  2. bev says

    June 29, 2016 at 8:12 pm

    Actually, I have had the discussion with Hudson a few times regarding not tooting in my face!!!
    Cute photos.

  3. Whitney @ Work it Mommy says

    June 29, 2016 at 8:55 pm

    These having me rolling! So many of these can be heard over here too. Must be a Mom Club initiation or something 😉

  4. Amy says

    June 29, 2016 at 10:40 pm

    These are hilarious and all too familiar! Ha.

  5. Courtney [Sweet Turtle Soup] says

    June 30, 2016 at 12:21 am

    We do not kiss eyeballs, lol. So many things I never thought I would say. And what is with booger eating? Come on kid.
    I've been meaning to get these for Aria. She's a fan of using half a roll, I thought a more single wipe type thing would be more kid friendly!

  6. Jessica Kessler says

    June 30, 2016 at 1:40 am

    I'm so glad it isn't just me who says those things. 🙂

  7. Courtney says

    June 30, 2016 at 4:30 am

    Dude. I swear Abigail talks about booty's all the freaking time. I've started having to police her use of that kind of talk because OH MY GOSH ENOUGH ALREADY DUDE

  8. Melissa Ann says

    June 30, 2016 at 12:34 pm

    Can you do a post on outdoor toys?

    • the girl in the red shoes says

      July 4, 2016 at 1:28 am

      Yes! Great idea!!!!

  9. Meghan says

    June 30, 2016 at 12:52 pm

    We love the cottonelle wipes! And there's lots of bathroom talk over here too!

  10. Jamie Lynn {Cocktails and Carseats} says

    June 30, 2016 at 1:55 pm

    Haha, so many of these I can relate to! We frequently use the 'Your friend ___ eats like a big girl', etc. 🙂 Nothing like peer pressure at an early age!

  11. Vanessa says

    June 30, 2016 at 7:46 pm

    You're right…we do not eat poop. LOL!!!!!

  12. Caley-Jade Rosenberg says

    June 30, 2016 at 8:06 pm

    Hahaha, I loved these! We all say them… x

  13. phyrglory says

    June 30, 2016 at 11:37 pm

    Haha yes. I say so many of these… Far too often! 😉

  14. phyrglory says

    June 30, 2016 at 11:37 pm

    Haha yes. I say so many of these… Far too often! 😉

  15. Jessica (The Newly) says

    July 1, 2016 at 3:18 am

    Oh my Lord, I love this. I have caught myself saying things that literally make me go "What the what?" as they're coming out of my mouth. Motherhood. Gotta love it.

  16. Sara McCarty says

    July 6, 2016 at 7:18 pm

    Oh yeah, being a mom is so weird sometimes!

  17. Liz | Ellie and Addie says

    July 7, 2016 at 6:59 pm

    Oh my goodness! I think "I can't give the cookie back it's in my mouth" might be my favorite thing ever! Can you tell I don't like sharing my cookies? 🙂

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