I’m so exciting to be able to share our story with you all – for the second time!

A while back I shared our breastfeeding story with my son Dean – and fast forward 2.5 years later – we’re back with our second breastfeeding story with my son, Beau. Our first go around with Dean was, in a word, “challenging!” I was determined to stick it out but it was not smooth sailing.

My second experience was much, much better – and as different from the first experience as we could get!

With both my pregnancies I experienced consistent contractions almost the whole time. With my second pregnancy – these started around 16 weeks, and continued every few minutes for the remainder of my pregnancy until my son was born at 38 weeks. Being a busy, full time working mom to a 2.5 year old, there wasn’t much time to dwell on the physically and emotional challenges of pregnancy, especially one with complications. The only thing I dreamed about was having a sweet little baby born safely and uneventfully. Thankfully, I had just that! I had an unexpectedly quick and intervention free labor and delivery – if we’d stayed at home much longer I might have had a home birth!

I was so shocked by how fast my SON (we didn’t find out what we were having!) was born that I had to be told a short while after his birth that I should try to breastfeed. I just kept saying “I can’t believe it?!?!” I felt like even though I’d had previous experience – I felt incredibly lost! What was I supposed to do?? With the help of our labor nurse Beau latched right on. He was a really sleepy guy in the beginning so I had to be reminded by our postpartum nurses to wake him up to nurse him from time to time. I couldn’t believe that my milk came in as fast as it did the second time around – when I realized he had spit up some actual milk prior to even going home from the hospital!

Being a second time mom – I didn’t have the same concerns as I did the first time. I didn’t question if he was eating enough, if he was gaining enough weight, if he needed to eat more frequently? My first son had some weight and growth issues – which turned out to be nothing. This was a wonderful reminder of how sometimes your mom instincts are the most valuable thing we have! This realization helped me with my second son so much! Instead of feeling stressed about each feeding – I enjoyed the quiet moments I got to have with my baby. Since I was home with both kiddos full time during my maternity leave – nursing time was my only time to share with Beau one on one. I came to treasure those quiet moments, such a sharp contrast from my first son Dean. Our nursing sessions felt really stressful, painful, and frustrating.

While on maternity leave I nursed Beau on demand, and he continued to grow and gain weight appropriately. Sure – I was a bit sore in the beginning, but for whatever reason the second time felt much easier and more straightforward than our first son. I think because I knew what to expect, and I knew how challenging things could be, I knew instinctively to just relax and let the stress of any situation melt away.

While home, I also started pumping to build up my supply to have a small freezer stash on hand for when I returned to work full time. Because of our experiences with Dean – I was extremely hesitant to introduce a bottle to Beau as I didn’t want him to have any nipple confusion. Sadly – as much as this helped our nursing relationship – it really created a challenge for when I went back to work. Around 8 weeks old we introduced a bottle – but he had no idea what to do with it! He had never had a pacifier either so he was even more confused by the bottles we were trying to give him. I tried to leave the house while someone else tried to feed him, I tried to give him the bottles myself, we tried every bottle we could thing of – and all types of nipples. Nothing worked! I couldn’t push back my return to work so I was forced to leave my sweet boy knowing he may not eat all day long! For the first couple weeks he would drink an average of about 2 ounces each day while I was gone from 7-6. He wasn’t overly unhappy – so I just resigned myself to knowing that was what he’d do – then he’d nurse when I got home, before bed, and overnight, and in the morning. Now – at about 10.5 months old, he’ll take between 4-6 ounces per day while I’m away, but he’s also a great eater of table food (even with no teeth still!) I continue to pump twice per day while at work, and have quite the freezer stash on hand. So we are in great shape!

At 10.5 months old, nursing is still going quite well. He’s really easily distracted – so I have to take him up to his quiet room to nurse – but secretly – this is our special quiet time together and I absolutely love it! In about a month or so – I plan to slowly stop my pumping sessions at work. I will continue to nurse Beau when I’m at home with him – for as long as he’s interested. My goal was to make it to 1 year, but I am also realistic about things changing. If he were to wean himself today – I would be a bit sad, but I’d follow his cues since he’s the boss 😉

My best advice for all those mamas out there, whether you nurse your babies or not – love those littles! They grow up so fast! Let them teach you a thing or two—like how to slow down, and enjoy the little things. As much as I’m always focused on all moments being teachable moments—it’s ok to bend the rules from time to time. These are the memories your babies will have of you and your time together! Don’t always worry about creating “bad” habits. Take them for ice cream, even if they don’t eat much dinner. Sit on the floor and PLAY – even if it means you don’t get to do your hair for work! Enjoy your little people and follow your instincts! They don’t say “mom knows best” for nothing!

Thank you so much for including our story again! I will treasure these experiences with my two boys!

Be sure to catch up with the rest of the Breastfeeding Diaries at the top of my navigation bar.

 I’d like to start
by thanking Julie for creating and hosting this wonderful series! I
never tire of reading everyone’s stories – so keep them coming!

My
name is Sarah and I’m mom to 19 month old, smiley, happy, loves-to-hug
everyone, Dean. He’s our crazy haired
happy little boy! Life has become hectic, happy, chaotic, and
fulfilling since he entered our lives. We wouldn’t have it any other
way!

My
journey through pregnancy was an interesting one. I started having
contractions every 2 minutes at 27 weeks. This continued throughout the
rest of my pregnancy while on modified bed rest. It was, in a word,
tough. But at 40 weeks, 6 days, (believe it or not!) I was induced and
had a very uneventful safe delivery. 

Our
breastfeeding story started about 30 minutes after Dean was born. He
seemed to latch on with no problem at first, and with the help of
several nurses throughout our hospital stay, we seemed to be doing
alright – that is, until our last day. Dean was so frustrated with
breastfeeding and being over-handled, and I was overly emotional,
exhausted, and anxious. The nurses who were all so helpful at
first, were replaced by rigid, overconfident, pushy nurses who believed
they knew best. On our last day I
was forced to use a S & S system to breastfeed my son while
supplementing with formula. I was upset by the whole situation and felt forced to do something I
didn’t think he needed. I was told he was losing too much weight and it
was the only choice if we wanted to go home. Looking back, I now know
that I should have requested to see a Lactation Consultant. ***All you
expecting and new mom’s out there, even when you’re brand new at
something – forge on! Ask for help. You, and only you, are in control of
your own body and baby. You get to choose what’s best for you.

By
the time we brought Dean home he would get near me and scream. It was
so difficult. We were told to try to nurse every 3 hours. When that 3
hour mark would come up, we’d get ourselves situated, and he would get
near me and scream. Picture this – brand new mom, screaming baby. Dad
takes baby – baby stops crying. Dad brings baby over to mom – baby
screams. Repeat. This went on for several weeks. At first my solution
was to exclusively pump and bottle feed Dean with expressed milk. I did
this to get my milk to come in, to get him the necessary nutrients he
needed, and to compromise without giving up. 

However,
I was determined to make breastfeeding part of our lives so I made an
appointment with a lactation consultant through Dean’s pediatrician’s
office. Thank goodness I did! SHE WAS WONDERFUL! She was patient,
understanding, and supportive. She calmly explained that we’d start by
taking a look at Dean, and at me, and weighing him as well. Then we
would calmly spend an hour and a half together while getting Dean to
latch, nurse, relatch, etc… it was amazing. I felt such a sense of
relief within the first 5 minutes. After our time was over
Dean had successful consumed a few ounces of milk – directly from my
breasts. We left with confidence, and the knowledge of the importance of
seeking help.

Of
course as soon as we got home the screaming baby routine continued
right where we’d left off. A few days later I made another appointment
with the LC. In the meantime I did some research and discovered an
amazing organization – Baby Cafe. In my area, there are two days a week
where for a couple hours moms and babies
can come to get help from LCs, fellow moms, etc…and all for free! At
first I went for the breastfeeding help, but once I got the hang of
things I went to share concerns, hear stories, and be a part of an open,
caring communities of moms who I could relate to. Between Baby Cafe, a
mixed time of attempted nursing and pumping/bottle feeding Dean, I
finally got to the point where we could nurse directly from the breast. 

We
eventually learned that I had an
oversupply. The thinking was that my let down was so hard that poor little Dean was choking on
all that milk. Perhaps this is why he would scream when he got near me –
he just knew he was heading into an unpleasant experience. Knowing that
I was also heading back to work, I decided, with help from several LCs
that I would pump before each nursing session, and then nurse Dean. I
had enough milk to freeze several ounces, and feed him. Over time this
all leveled out and Dean turned into an exclusively breastfed (from the
breast) baby. This lasted for his first three months until I went back
to work. 

I
will say that after getting the hang of things – we still had one MAJOR
challenge to overcome. I was that oh-so-lucky mom that fell into the
minority group of women for whom breastfeeding was a toe curling,
excruciatingly painful experience. No, I don’t mean for the first few
weeks, I mean for the entire duration of our breastfeeding journey – all
14 months of it. Early on – I’d cry, grit my teeth, tense up, and wait
it out. Not exactly how I envisioned our nursing experience – nor did
this help in those early months. Eventually I learned to relax my body
and mind. I decided that I wanted to remember our journey in a more
loving, calm way – so when he was hungry, I would put myself in a better
mental state – a place where I knew I was doing something for HIM and
not for ME. It never got less painful for me, but I decided to focus on
the experience, the connection, and the
relationship I was forging with my new son. 

Eventually Dean
dropped his night time and overnight nursing sessions on his own. And
slowly he weaned himself to nursing for about 3 minutes on one breast
each morning before deciding he’d much rather play! And one day – he
decided he wanted to play as soon as he woke up and that was that. 

There
were difficult moments, sweet moments, frustrating moments, and
rewarding moments! I’m proud of our story and will attempt to breastfeed
again with our next baby in the future – even with the challenges it
may present.

Hang in there moms – whatever route you take – it
doesn’t matter as long as you choose to do what’s best for your baby and
yourself!

If you would like to share your breastfeeding story please email me at
thegirlintheredshoes @ gmail (and if you already emailed me I promise to get back to you this week! I’m a little behind!) Be sure to catch up with the rest of the
Breastfeeding Diaries at the top of my navigation bar.