This post is sponsored by Carter’s; however, all thoughts and opinions are my own.
This sweet girl. Our third (and final) baby. She was the missing piece to our family puzzle. She’s the best thing to happen to all of us…can’t you tell? I often get asked how we knew we should have another baby or how we knew we were ready for a third. And that is SO hard to answer. Because it’s such a personal decision. And it really depends on you and your family. Having three kids is busy, and crazy, and hard. But you know what? I felt just as busy and stressed with just one baby. Motherhood is hard. But wonderful.
Did you know our sweet girl was a surprise? Jon and I had been talking about whether or not we should have a third baby not two long after having Sadie (baby #2). We knew we wanted at least two kids, so the first two were easy decisions. But while we were “talking about it” we got the BIGGEST surprise of my life…and on my birthday no less!
What I thought was the stomach flu turned out to be the best birthday present ever. I think I always knew we needed a third baby. But I was just too scared to admit it.
Sadie had just turned one year old the month before we found out and I was absolutely not prepared to find out we were going to have another baby. It was a major shock! I was still breastfeeding, and adjusting to life with two kids. And overwhelmed. Honestly, I was a little scared.
But now I know better. There is nothing to fear. Our baby was such an amazing surprise. And amazing gift. I don’t know what I’d do without her.
The decision to have another baby is such a personal one….and of course I’m completely smitten with this girl…so I’m obviously a big fan of having baby #3! Ha. But seriously, let me say this. What do you want your Thanksgiving table to look like in twenty years? Close your eyes and try to picture it. Do you see a bunch of people crowded around your table? Who are they? What do you want your family to look like years from now? It’s hard to see past this hard stage of raising littles. But littles grow up fast. The trenches of motherhood are HARD. But it’s not always like this.
I always saw my Thanksgiving table as busy, loud, and full of people.
The biggest challenge about having a third baby is that you are obviously outnumbered! When we just had Hudson and Sadie, Jon could take one kid and I could take the other. But with three that totally goes out the window.
But for us, I found that going from 2 kids to 3 kids was easier than going from 1 kid to 2 kids. Does that sound crazy? My husband might disagree with me…but I found this transition to be a little bit easier. Don’t get me wrong…it’s all hard. But once you become a 3rd time parent you are way more confident in your parenting abilities. And you know that your heart will expand to love another child…because it did it with baby #2!
When Sadie was a newborn, it was hard for me to take care of her and Hudson by myself. He was a few months shy of turning three and needed me constantly. He didn’t play well by himself and just wanted me for everything. Throw in a nursing newborn and no sleep and that makes for a rough transition.
With Belle, Hudson was older and able to help me a little, but the biggest benefit is that he and Sadie can play with each other and entertain one another while I take care of Belle. The fact that they had each other to play with made things a little easier for me! Don’t get me wrong…it was (and is) crazy hard, and they don’t always get along…but it’s easier to keep them entertained with each other than when it’s just one child by themselves.
A lot of people ask about age differences, and what I think is the best timing for having another baby. Every child is different…but for me, I found that the age difference between my second and third children to be easier for me than the difference between my first and second. Like I said before, Hudson was three months shy of turning 3 when Sadie was born. I’ve found age 2 and a half – 3 and a half to be the HARDEST age. So we had a newborn right in the middle of the hardest stage ever. AKA threenager. Hudson was potty training, transitioning out of his crib and in to a big boy bed, and starting pre-school. And he was used to being the center of our attention….so learning to share me with a baby was HARD. For Sadie, she was three months shy of turning two when Belle was born. Sadie was still taking a long afternoon nap (yes!), and sleeping all night in her crib. And she was already used to having a sibling around. So all of that just made it easier to welcome Belle in to our family.
So what should you do? I will tell you this. You will never regret having another baby. But you may regret not having one. There’s always room in your heart for a little more love, right? My advice if you are trying to decide whether or not to have another baby would be to not let the fear of the unknown get in the way. This time of having little children really does go by so fast. It’s hard. And it’s busy. And it’s stressful. But it’s not like this forever. You blink and they are one year old. Another blink and they are off to school. Raising little children is hard. But they grow up before you know it.
We are all pretty smitten with our third baby.
Carter’s has been there for so many of Belle’s first. First time meeting her siblings, first food, and first steps! Carter’s has always been my go-to for adorable, sweet, and fun clothing for all of my babies. Their Little Baby Basics line has something soft and sweet for every baby. They have such a great selection of baby girl, baby boy, and gender neutral clothing.
Right now is a great time to stock up on Little Baby Basics at Carter’s. Now through June 30th you can save 20% off a purchase of $40 or more with code “CART4342” online or “066944” in store. To get your shop on, find a Carter’s store near you.
I SOOO identify with this post. In fact, I found out about my surprise third just a few months after you found out about Belle, and I often looked to your blog for hope. The surprise literally turned our world upside down. The shock, coupled with the tremendous fear, really sent me down a dark road. We knew our finances could not accommodate another, our careers were already off track and we felt a third would derail things even more. Our home wasn’t “big enough” and it felt very very difficult.
But we are almost a year into having three girls (!!) and I completely agree with you. Watching my middle be a big sister is amazing, watching my oldest be the ring leader is adorable, and our baby is just the BEST addition to our little family. And all of the things we worried about are melting away bit by bit. Everything happens for a reason, and while I couldn’t see it when I was newly pregnant, I do see the pieces falling into place now and I know they are going to be even more settled in the future.
Having three kids so close together (my oldest isn’t 5 yet and my baby is 11 months) is REALLY REALLY hard. But I agree with you that I also felt stressed and overwhelmed when I had just one, so that feeling doesn’t really change. I’m an only child, so knowing that my girls have each other is really comforting and rewarding for me.
Thank you for this post and for guiding me through the beginning stages of this crazy life with so many babies!
Glad to hear three isn’t so bad! I’m currently pregnant with our third, who was also a surprise! I always wanted a third (and truthfully I’d like a fourth!) but I hadn’t fully convinced my hubby yet. And then surprise, he had to get on board fast. 😉
We had 3 babies in 37 months and I always say going from 2-3 was the hardest but you actually pointed out some wonderful things that come with baby #3 (built in playmates for the older ones and Mama confidence). 🙂 Love this post and cheers to other mamas in the trenches. You got this! From a diaper free, stroller free, mama of three ❤️
Needed this. Just found out I’m pregnant with #3, which was not totally a surprise, but happened the first month. Our son is 14 mos and a mama’s boy. He’s also a tank and won’t walk. We need to get a bigger car and build a wall to turn our loft into a 4th bedroom. I’m stresssed. And also stressed about our new life come January. I just needed to hear, “it’s going to be ok!” from someone who’s been there, done that.
I am also a mom of three! My first two were both products of medical interventions to get pregnant. (My first was failed IUI, IVF then IUI after IUI- 9 total, the last one took and we got a beautiful baby girl, and my second was 3 failed IUI’s then we got pregnant with him) with my third, we decided if we hadn’t fallen pregnant on our own by the time my son turned 3, we were meant to be a family of 4. 3 came and went… and we gave away or sold all our baby things. 21 days after his 3rd birthday, we found out (on Friday the 13th) we were expecting our third! There were no words. We were in shock. She’s 17 months old now and I still can’t believe she’s here! As for the age differences, my first two are 22.5 months apart. That was HARD! #2 and #3 are just over 3 years 8 months apart. I’d do that all over again! The older two were independent and didn’t need me for everything. I failed at breast feeding with the first two, partially for medical reasons, partially because my daughter needed me for everything still when my son was born. My third nursed for almost a year and it was amazing! If my son needed something, my older daughter was able to help him. I feel it made their bond even stronger. Our younger daughter is now walking and talking and so in love with her older siblings and they can’t get enough of her!! I’m so in love with my beautiful, crazy family!!! It’s perfect for us!
Congratulations on the gift of #3!! Our’s were all surprises(#1 due to being on meds for my kidneys that wouldn’t allow a baby to develop(oops!), #2-7 due to no cycles during B.F.ing) as well! As a Mom on earth to 6 kids ages 9 years to 10 months it is a busy life. But we do it on one income, & I wouldn’t trade them for the college career that I was studying for! For someday they will be grown & gone, and college will still be there. Each pregnancy is a little scary because you are comfortable with your new normal. I was so ashamed of the things people say when you choose to embrace motherhood, until we lost one. And then I truly embraced that EACH child is a gift. Whether child #1 or child #13. So enjoy the gifts that you are given & never be ashamed for embracing motherhood:-)