To My Little Boy, Before You Start Kindergarten

My sweet boy,

I blinked and here we are. You are off to kindergarten next week. And I cannot believe it. It seems like yesterday I was rocking you to sleep and rubbing my cheek agains your fuzzy head. Kissing your chubby feet and tickling your belly. Listening to your amazing laugh and marveling at those tiny fingers wrapped around one of mine. And now you are all skinny legs and arms and crazy bed-head. Now you tell knock-knock jokes and get yourself dressed and get yourself a drink without any help from me.

Right now you are in the sweet spot. You can do so many things for yourself now. You pick out your own clothes and grab a snack when you need one. You help your sisters and run faster than me. But you still occasionally get your shorts twisted or accidentally tuck your shirt in to your underwear. Or you need help buckling your seat belt in your car seat. You still need a hug and a kiss whenever you go somewhere, and still want me to cuddle with you every night. Those are little glimpses that you still need your mommy. I know that the time of needing me so much is racing through my fingers like the sand in an hourglass. But for now your eyes still light up when I get home after being out for a few hours and you still run and hug and kiss me without being embarrassed. I know that might not last forever so I’m giving you the biggest hugs and picking you up while I still can. My big boy.

I still wake up in the middle of the night to find you in the bed between me and your daddy. I see glimpses of my little baby when you sleep. And then a rogue knee kicks me and reminds me just how big you really are. Those tiny feet I once held in the palm of my hand now pack a mighty kick and outgrow shoes faster than I ever thought could be possible. But you still think I hung the moon, and I hope you realize that for you, I would. I would do anything for my boy. And I always will.

In a few days you’ll be off to kindergarten where someone else will drive you to school and look after you and teach you and help you if your undies get caught in your shorts. And that’s okay. You’ll learn and grow so much. I know you’ll do great things. Because you, my sweet boy, are amazing. You are smart and silly and friendly and fun. You are a piece of my heart walking around in a Star Wars shirt and with bruised knees.

You’ll make new friends this year, learn to read, and learn to tie your shoes. You’ll learn about math and science, and things I still don’t understand. You’ll get discouraged and angry, but I will be right there cheering you on. I will forever be your biggest fan and biggest cheerleader.

My wish for you as a big kindergartner is that you are kind. To everyone. To kids who look and act differently than you. To kids who come from other places or have different beliefs. Not everyone will want to be your friend, and that’s fine. But what matters most is that you are nice to them. Even if they are not so nice to you. I hope that you love big. That the mention of your name will bring a smile to anyone’s face. I wish for you to be brave. To stand up for what is right, and to take action when you see something that is wrong.

I want you to laugh. And have fun. To know when to be a leader and when it’s best to be a follower instead. I have so many wishes and hopes for you. I have since before you were born.

We will learn so much together on this journey to being a big kid. Thank you for your patience with me. You forgive easily and always see the best in me. I hope you see the best in other people too.

You are big and brave and excited to start this new chapter. And I am too. I will be there, holding your hand as you get ready to board the school bus. And I’ll secretly follow the bus until it arrives at your school, just for my peace of mind. And I’ll be standing there at the bus stop, 20 minutes early counting down the minutes until it drops you off and you run back in to my arms. I can’t wait.

You’ll forever be my little boy. Even when I have to look up to you to see your face, or stand on my tip toes to give you a kiss, you’ll still be my baby. Forever and ever.