The Girl in the Red Shoes

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motherhood | May 9, 2019

A Mom as You Are

In honor of Mother’s Day, I’m teaming up with Allstate for this post. All opinions are my own.

As mothers we are told that we have to get it all right, so our kids turn out right. We are made to believe that our children’s entire futures are riding on our ability to perfectly orchestrate their lives. And we’re told that the strength of their character hinges on ours. So, we begin to believe that if we just try hard enough, we can actually “be enough.”

But when I look at all that I ought to do as a mom, and compare it with what I actually do, I am never enough. There are not enough hours in the day to do all the things I ought to do. I don’t have enough patience. I don’t have enough creativity.  It’s easy to feel like a failure. I forget to pick up something from the store that I promised my son I would buy for him. I accidentally leave our packed to the brim snack bag at home. I fail in a million little ways every single day. And sometimes I can laugh about it…..haha look at me, another #momfail. But sometimes it hurts.

When I set impossibly high standards, I fail to reach them every time. I fail to measure up. But it’s me who sets these standards, not my kids. It’s me to thinks we need a well-balanced, carefully planned meal every night, not my kids. My kids are THRILLED to eat left over bits and pieces of cut up cheese, lunch meat, fruit, and whatever I can find in the pantry. My kids forget and forgive easy. Because they love me. It’s the same way I forget and forgive them. Because I love them. Pretty simple right?

My kids already think I’m all kinds of awesome. They think I hung the moon. And it’s true. I’m the one that makes their world go round. And that’s all they care about. They don’t sweat the small stuff. They don’t ask me to remember every little detail, take the perfect photos, record all the memories in their baby books, make sure everything runs smoothly all the time, or be the perfect mother. They just want me as I am.

Your kids want you as you are, not as you ought to be. Will you join me in making this our mama mantra for the year?

The sacrifices I make. The countless bums and noses I’ve wiped. The little things I do every day do not go unnoticed. Those little things are building up three independent, wild, gorgeous, amazing people. I’m pouring out myself so that they can be filled up. Filled up with my love, my generosity, and my words of encouragement. So that one day, when I’m gone, they’ll still feel my love around them. They’ll remember that they can do hard things because I told them they could. Because I believed they could. Because I whispered prayers and encouragement and kind words over them every day. Because they saw me fail countless times and get back up again. They will know they can do it too, and without fear. Because I showed them.

They will twirl and dance and be exactly who God made them to be. All because I showed up for them every single day. And I didn’t let the traps of motherhood, of perfection, weigh me down.

Sadie doesn’t point me out to friends saying, “that’s my mommy, she makes sure I brush my teeth and drives me to playdates and washes my clothes and comforts me when I cry out in the middle of the night.” Instead she says to her friends, with a hint of pride in her voice “that’s my mommy, right there, with the red hair” and that is enough.

Moms need to be cared for too. And the role we play in our home is immeasurable. We have made sure that I have a life insurance policy to help cover the expenses if something happened to me. Life with three kids is crazy and busy, and it’s not always fun to talk about these types of things, but it’s so necessary. Allstate has some great information about why moms need life insurance too.While some moms may not bring in an actual paycheck for the household, you likely provide services that could cost tens of thousands of dollars to replace each year. Things like child care, daily transportation, home maintenance and cooking, to name a few. If you were to pass away, life insurance may help cover some of these costs. Learn more about why moms need life insurance here.

This post was written as part of the Allstate Influencer Program and sponsored by Allstate. All opinions are mine. As the nation’s largest publicly held personal lines insurer, Allstate is dedicated not only to protecting what matters most–but to guiding people to live the Good Life, every day.

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Comments

  1. Cassie says

    May 9, 2019 at 9:08 am

    LOVE this post so much mama! It brought tears to my eyes!

  2. Molly says

    May 9, 2019 at 9:11 am

    Wow……your kids want you as you are. Dang! That really struck me! Thank you for this post!

  3. Paula @ I'm Busy Being Awesome says

    May 9, 2019 at 12:32 pm

    These are amazing words about motherhood, thank you for sharing

  4. Shayla says

    May 10, 2019 at 10:24 am

    I think one of the things that can get me down is I know some people who do get everything right and still have kids that don’t turn out great. There are just no guarantees in this line of mamahood work! But I love this post, we really do only have today so it’s important to do what we can and enjoy our kids!

  5. Amanda M says

    May 10, 2019 at 11:12 am

    Such true words! Happy mother’s day!

  6. Shani | Sunshine & Munchkins says

    May 10, 2019 at 12:49 pm

    Yes, this is so, so true! Kids are so forgiving and I believe that we are all just doing our very best to raise them to be the best people they can be.

  7. Jessica Lieb (@bkeepsushonest) says

    May 10, 2019 at 4:16 pm

    Such sweet words and a great reminder that kids don’t look at all of our faults or all the things we do but they love us just because we’re mom.

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